Have you ever had that moment where you think …..I totally know how this will play out? This is the moment I experienced on Tuesday when my very cute Husband pulls up in the driveway with a very large, very fast dirt bike in the back of the already very big, very fast black dodge.
Before he even got out of the truck I could see the smile which at that moment was about as big as the bike. Excitement was obvious. I tried not to show my fear….
” Isn’t it beautiful” he says.
” Don’t you love it?” he asks.
I took a moment – I contemplated which wife I wanted to be at that moment. I chose this one…..
” Of course I love it and yes you are so right – it is so beautiful”
After he hugged me I left him to sit in the driveway and admire his new ” friend”.
My Husband bought a motorcycle on Tuesday – I bought extra insurance….
December 21 – Solstice – growing up this day did not really mean much to me – really if anything at all. As a grown up however this day has become somewhat important to me and my family. It is a day in which we gather with friends and celebrate being together, and that as this is the shortest day – the days only get longer, and warmer from here.
Solstice is a day I look forward to and feel excited as we gather our snow gear and food and head to the McEwens…it is a day that I feel blessed to have so many great people in my life and my children’s.
Happy Solstice to you all!
The most important thing a father can do for his children is to love their mother.
Many years ago I told my Dad that I was breaking up with my boyfriend. We had been together for four years and my Dad LOVED him….I cared for him a lot….that was a problem…My Dad was upset to say the least – I had told him that I was ending things with the boy because I needed more. I wanted weak knees and sweaty palms…..he did not understand and actually told the 23 year old version of me that I was making a mistake and that I may grow old alone because I was to picky. He said there was no such thing out there…..
I met my husband Scott through a very good friend of mine…come meet my brother she said….he is pretty cute she said….I remember the first time Scott kissed me and held my hand and I knew…I knew I had waited for a reason…
We have been married for fifteen years….and I love him more today then I did the day I married him. He is my best friend, and when he holds my hand my tummy still flips a bit. When we are out and he looks at me from across a room and gives me a wink and that ” Scotty” smile I still feel the ” weak knees and sweaty palms” .
Don’t get me wrong it doesn’t happen every moment, there are times when I want to kick him…but those are few and far between…
I have since had conversations with my Dad where he did admit he was harsh in his comments and admits that it was a good thing I waited…
So as you are all aware it is December and within December is Christmas and as all Parents want to do at this time of year – I am trying to instill in my children that Christmas is more than materialism. Don’t get me wrong I am a purchaser for sure but this year I have been trying to channel more of my inner craft self to show my kidlets that making gifts for those we care about is thoughtful and loving and so much more meaningful than something we buy at the mall.
I have discovered my inner self has lied to me – there is nothing crafty within me…ok perhaps that is harsh – but it is definitely not a natural thing for me to go and make something.
I find these lovely DIY items on the now dreaded website. A candy cane vase…how hard can this be…well my fingers are still stained red – I had glue in my hair and almost needed a 911 call as my fingers stuck together….
“Just stop” says my Husband “no one will know and we will just go buy a gift”.
“I will know” I says as the fifteenth candy cane breaks while just taking the wrapper off….
I don’t just lie to myself (thought I was crafty – discovering not so much) I am stubborn as hell. I keep going…the vase is done …my kids have seen me work through blood (yes blood as the glue burned my skin) sweat and tears (did I mention blood) to make someone special in our life a homemade present….I have made an impact. I have made a difference in how my kids perceive things….
HMMMM…not so much
Max looks at it, head tilted…” it is cool Mom, but you know when you buy the flowers to go in it could have just got the ones with the fancy vase”
BRRRRR……….Could it get colder? The correct answer is YES and really this is just the beginning of the winter season for Calgary. If we get really lucky we can have it all the way to April. Don’t get me wrong I do enjoy white snowy days as I am snuggled in my warm house next to the fire sipping wine, OR perhaps at the ski hill, sitting in the lodge after a good day of shredding the gnar, eating french fries and drinking coffee and baileys.
I just don’t feel ready to have it start now, to be -24 and no warmer days in sight…it makes me kinda sad, oh and brrr………..did I mention that already.
I am a Mom – I know this – I accept this. I know that my to do list around the house will always be longer. I know that my day is packed with more than just “going to work” that I must fit in ortho appointments, grocery shopping, drycleaners and puppy vet appointments. I know this – I accept this. What I did not know and am not sure if I accept is the ongoing daily battles with my children. I have found a new appreciation for Betty (my Mom)as I fight for the millionth time for the nine year old to brush his teeth. Anyone listening at my front door at 7:35 in the morning would think I was pulling his fingernails one at a time. I simply said – Max go brush your teeth.
This is a common theme at our house. Max believes that he should have a choice and that by making him brush his teeth I am taking his ” choice” away. These are my words, my teachings coming back to haunt me as I have always taught both the crazy nine year old and the fourteen year old alien that we have choices in our world.
I try to explain, as he is screeching at me that it is his mouth his teeth and why am I always being mean to him – that teeth brushing is not a choice – that his choice is – does he brush them with his Mom calmly sitting in he kitchen drinking her coffee smiling and thinking to herself how lovely her children are OR does he brush them with his Mom standing over him “screeching” like a crazy woman – because she has not had her coffee yet.
He does not like that choice and says I am ruining his life.
The screeching stops, the teeth are brushed, I am back in the kitchen drinking my now luke warm coffee. My boy flings his back pack over his shoulder – starts to head out the door and looks back with a grin and says” I love you mom”.
I am a Mom – I know this – I accept this – I will never understand the crazy workings of the nine year old brain – I know this – I accept this.
So I blinked…this is what happened…..and with that I woke up and realized that I am 43 and a Mother to a 14 and 9 year old….how did that happen…I remember being a little girl and hearing my Mom and other “old” people talk about how fast time goes and how moments slip away. I remember thinking back then that it was all “crazy talk”. When you are 19 listening to a bunch of 40 somethings complain about things it really does seem imaginable that one day i would be 40 something thinking and complaining about the same thing.
It saddens me to think about how fast time is going and that at this stage of the game I am potentially less than ten years away from being an empty nester.
So as I – an old folk talk “crazy” I will hug my boys a little longer at bedtime this evening…I will listen carefully and enjoy all of their ramblings a little bit more…. as tomorrow I will blink…and wake up a little older with a little more time gone.